


Forgiveness is Obsolete

by Gyakugire



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Violence, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:10:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gyakugire/pseuds/Gyakugire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi knew that Erwin hated this with every fiber of his being. His whole figure stood contradictory to what he was doing. His jaw tightened, and the commander of the Survey Corps turned his head to the side. The corporal knew that he was more selfish than Erwin could ever be. So, with that thought in mind, he glared at the commander and snarled. “What the fuck are you waiting for?” he choked out. His words stumbled over the blood that was threatening to come up, and he sounded hoarse. His breathing was uneven. It wasn’t enough. He wanted—no, he needed—Erwin to strike him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness is Obsolete

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [El perdón es obsoleto](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364470) by [Petula_Petunia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petula_Petunia/pseuds/Petula_Petunia)



There was no possibility for forgiveness, and they both knew it very well. The words of distraught mothers and mourning fathers rang in Levi’s head the nights they returned from their expeditions. As time went on, the words stayed the same, but the families changed. It was always exactly the fucking same. Commander, are you even human? Are you as emotionless as the mosters you’re fighting? How could you sacrifice our sons and daughters so carelessly?

He knew it bothered Erwin, but he knew how to cope. Erwin could handle it—he had always been able to. He was willing to do anything to win the war. Levi had adopted the same views, but sometimes wondered if it was because he was becoming a demented, inhuman shell, or if he was truly fighting for freedom like the soldiers he tirelessly commanded.

When they were in the confines of Erwin’s room, that’s when Levi let himself fall apart. He was silent, always silent, but they had fallen into a routine. 

The first time he had started his method of coping, it was one of the few times he would ever see genuine shock on Erwin’s face. Still, when Levi took the belt from his civilian clothing and shoved it into his commander’s hands, Erwin made no vocal protest. His eyes questioned, but Levi ignored them. He didn’t care what Erwin thought. He didn’t care what any of them thought. 

He only learned through pain, and he was going to train his mind to stop haunting him with the families and the soldiers who's lives he had ruined. 

“Hit me.” It wasn’t a question, or a suggestion, but a command.

It was then that Erwin voiced himself. “It’s the titans that are doing this, Levi. You're not—“

Levi felt the same anger boiling in him that he felt on the battlefield. His fingers twitched, and he imagined himself smashing Erwin’s face into the ground until he fucking bled out. “Did I say this was up for discussion?”

Still, Erwin hesitated. 

Levi scoffed. “How is it that you can send hundreds of soldiers to their deaths without an ounce of regret, but you can’t do _this_?” the corporal inquired, motioning to the two of them. “You had no problem—“

He heard the crack of the belt before he felt the impact of the leather against his face. It struck him in the cheek, hard enough to make him gasp out in shock. Again, Erwin hesitated. “Again.”

Erwin squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and tightened his grip on the belt. Levi watched the piece of leather until it came forward and struck him in the middle of the chest. This time, he made a noise. It was weak, helpless. He tried to  breathe, but the breaths wouldn't flow correctly.

It made Erwin stop in his tracks. 

“Did I tell you to stop?” Levi gasped out, and coughed grotesquely. “Fucking hit me again!” he he hissed, and took a step forward. He was angry. Not at Erwin, but at himself. He needed this to fucking _hurt_. 

The commander gave Levi a soft look, but lifted the belt over his head and struck him in the throat. 

Levi stumbled backwards, and Erwin let him fall to the ground. “Shit.”

“Levi,” Erwin murmured, and kicked him in the face. The soldier’s hands slammed against the ground, narrowly avoiding what would have probably been a broken nose. 

He didn’t want to go back outside the walls.

But Erwin wanted him to, so he would. The commander kicked him in the chest, and he rolled over, back pressed against the floor.

For Erwin Smith, he would do anything.

~  


Just as before, Levi was the only one left. His squad, once again, had been decimated. Humanity, as always, had accomplished nothing. Fatality rates had peaked at fifty three percent. They had started out with two hundred soldiers, and returned with ninety four.

This time, though, it was quick. 

Erwin hit Levi with the belt, and now corporal stumbled back, and snarled. 

“Use your fists.”

The commander paused, but eventually obliged. He took a swing at Levi, and hit him in the stomach.

Levi coughed once, then twice, then again.

He looked at the ground for much longer than necessary. “Levi?”

Without a verbal response, Levi fell to his knees and vomited blood all over the floor.

~~

Things continued very much the same. Each significant loss on Levi’s part, or even the Survey Corps as a whole would end with Levi storming into Erwin’s room, throwing something into the commander’s hands, and demanding that he beat the living shit out of him until he begged him to stop.

“Why?” Erwin asked one day. They were filling out reports almost two weeks after their last expedition, and were already beginning to think about the next one.

Levi looked up from his paperwork. “What?”

“Why am I the only one that does it?”

“Who said you were?"  


“You always come to me first. You only bear the marks I leave. Who else would be involved?”

Levi nodded. As always, his commander was sharp. He stood up. The corporal watched the muscles under Erwin’s thin shirt ripple as he moved back. Levi’s foot bumped against the desk. “Yes. You’re the only one.”

“Why, though?” Erwin asks again, and he watched Levi intently as the smaller man maneuvered around the desk until he was standing next to Erwin. 

Erwin smelled clean. He should have—he had just bathed. Levi leaned dangerously close to him, brushing past his lips to rest his mouth at the commander’s ear. “Because you make it hurt the most.” 

The words hit Erwin hard. But still, he hoped that perhaps, he was reading too far into something for once. Guilt bloomed in his chest, and he had to look away. This was too much. He couldn’t. Not to Levi. He looked up again. From this angle, he could see a nasty bruise on the underside of Levi’s jaw.

He had done that. He had done all of them. He only hit him twice, the last time. Once in the jaw, and another time in his gut. That, thankfully, had been more than good enough for the corporal.  


“Levi, I don’t understand.” 

The corporal pulled back slightly, and his eyes were narrowed. “Yes, you do.” He leaned in again, this time intentions clear, but Erwin didn’t move. He let Levi join their mouths in a rough, clumsy attempt at a kiss. A small hand ran through his hair and lingered on the back of his neck. Levi’s hands were warm. His body was shaking. This was the first time Erwin had seen Levi nervous.

“Why?” Erwin asks again.

“Who knows?” the corporal murmured back, and kissed him once more. This time, Erwin kissed back, and swept his tongue gently across Levi’s lips. The smaller man shuddered, and desperately grabbed at Erwin, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. 

Levi was a time bomb. He was ticking, always ticking, getting dangerously close to when he would blow the fuck up. 

Erwin knew. In fact, he was probably pushing him rapidly to that point. His mouth moved to Levi’s neck, and he heard the smaller man groan. He slid into the commander’s lap, letting his legs dangle aimlessly behind the larger man. “Levi, this is wrong.”

The corporal grabbed the curtain and pulled it shut. “Will you stop me?” He rolled his hips, and found that Erwin was already hard.  
  
“No.”

“Who cares, then.”

Levi unbuttoned the top of Erwin’s shirt and pulled it over his head, neatly placing it on the desk before removing his own. Levi’s body was decorated in wounds, and Erwin stared. “I did this.”

“Yes.”

“Does it hurt?” 

Levi stared. “Yes.” He trapped Erwin in another kiss.  


“I’m sorry,” the commander murmured, ghosting his fingers over a few of the bruises.

Levi rolled his hips, and Erwin bit back a moan. “Don’t bother. It has to be this way.”

For once, Erwin didn’t understand. He watched as Levi pulled off the rest of their clothes, exposing their painfully hard erections. The corporal got on his knees, and forced himself between Erwin’s legs. His fingertips brushed against Erwin’s cock, and the commander inhaled sharply. “How long?”  


“Hm?”

“How long has this been going on?”

Levi shrugged. “I could ask you the same,” he said, and took the erection into his mouth. His movements were sloppy, and he awkwardly grabbed at the larger man’s thighs and balls, but his mouth was warm, and he was beautiful. Erwin moaned, and bucked his hips, sending his cock deep down Levi’s throat. 

The smaller man gagged, and pulled back. He stared at Erwin. “Fuck me.”  


“Fine.” Erwin pulled the smaller man forward, hands kneading at his hips and back as they kissed. “Do you have lube?”

Levi blinked twice, spit in his hand, and rubbed it on Erwin’s cock. “That’ll have to do.”

Erwin sighed and pressed his fingers to Levi’s lips. He would beat him if he absolutely wanted him to, but he was not about to hurt Levi while they were like this. He coated the fingers in saliva, and eventually, Erwin pulled away. His fingers circled around the corporal’s entrance, and he started by pushing one in softly, then the other.

Levi’s body shuddered, and he dug his nails into Erwin’s shoulder. “It hurts,” Erwin murmured.

“Keep going.”

And he did. He pulled Levi onto his lap, and positioned himself at his entrance. “Are you sure?”  


Levi cocked his head to the side. “Of course.”

Erwin entered him slowly, and Levi’s back arched, soft moans slipping from his throat. He wanted him to move faster. Levi whimpered when Erwin waited after pushing all the way in. “Hurry up,” he begged, and slammed his lips against Erwin’s, wincing slightly when their teeth crashed together.

Erwin obliged. He pulled almost all the way out, and slammed back into Levi, earning a strangled scream from the man’s mouth. His breathing was ragged, and he fucked Levi with firm, hungry eyes. It was animalistic, the way they moved with each other.

Tears pricked at Levi’s eyes, and he frantically blinked them out of the way. Erwin stood, and took Levi up into his arms so that he could drape him across the desk. Two strong hands tilted Levi upward, sending Erwin’s dick even deeper into him.

It only took a few thrusts for him to hit the smaller man’s prostate. Levi cried out, toes curling to scrape at the wood of the desk. “Stop.”

“No.”

Erwin repeated the movement, slamming as hard as he could against that one spot. He saw Levi break apart beneath him. His breathing became erratic, and his body squirmed without control, with noises coming out of his mouth whenever Erwin hit that spot just right.

Levi came on their stomachs, eyes rolling into the back of his head as his body twitched and tried to regain control of itself. He clung to Erwin, whimpering as he continued to fuck him until he rode out his orgasm.

Erwin pulled out, and kissed Levi on the forehead, his cheeks, and finally his mouth.

Levi shuddered, but still did not let go. The commander held him there, and let his eyes droop shut. The corporal observed his sharp features, his perfectly slicked back hair, and the dark circles under his eyes.

What had he done, to make Levi feel like this?

~~

Wall Maria fell. Even Levi had trouble blaming himself for the losses caused by the breached wall. He himself had almost gotten killed, and Erwin wasn’t too far behind. Still, like each time before, his men perished, and he survived.

Air tried to rush through Levi’s lungs, but he couldn’t breathe. They had made it to the top of Wall Rose by some sort of sick miracle, if he could even call it that. Whoever was here had managed to survive. Everyone else was, most likely, already deceased. 

He saw Hanji with her glasses in her hands, eyes squeezed shut. For once, she was silent. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, and looked over what was once the human territory within Wall Maria. Still, they could see civilians running this way and that, desperately seeking shelter that was far out of their reach. The boats had already left—there was no one left to save them. 

Levi had to look away when he felt his stomach churn. It was too late. He stood up, and vomited over the wall. For once, he didn’t worry about it hitting someone’s home—Titans were already beginning to claw at the wall, and everyone in the surrounding area had probably been decimated long ago. 

He glanced to his right. Hanji was still sitting there, and now, Mike had joined her. 

To his left were four other members of the Scouting Regiment, fresh out of training. 

A small redhead by the name of Petra Ral was curled up on the ground, tears staining her blood stained cheeks. “We’re alive…we’re alive…” she kept repeating, while a much older looking man—Auruo—had his arms wrapped around her. Ian and Gunther sat numbly a few feet away from them, eyes glued to the ground. 

They had killed so many titans. They had abandoned their comrades, and for what? There were seven members of the survey corps left. Seven. Three hundred soldiers gone in just under an hour. 

Levi squeezed his eyes shut. Sick. Fucking disgusting. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Levi.” 

The corporal turned around to see commander Erwin Smith standing there, eyes dull and body tired. “Erwin.”

“You’re alive.”

“As are you.”

“We’re heading towards the barracks within Wall Rose. There’s no reason for us to remain here.”

Levi took one last look at the territory within Wall Maria, spat onto land that was once owned by humans, and turned on his heel to follow Erwin.

Eight. Eight of them had made it through absolute fucking hell and back.

~~

Levi thought it was after his second expedition beyond the walls that he had snapped. He had felt unstable since then, or that’s what he had thought.

When he found himself at the gate of Wall Rose, leading back the two hundred soldiers that had used to be two hundred and fifty thousand, he could not bear to look at the humans within the gate. They were horrified, and he knew very well that the Survey Corps would be tarnished by the tragedy. His hands were stained with the deaths of hundreds of thousand.

He tried to feel remorse. He felt disgusted instead.

Humanity’s Strongest? He was a fucking murderer. He managed to fight through the crowd, and when the eight members of the survey corps managed to get back to the barracks, he made a beeline for Erwin Smith’s room.

“Levi—“ Erwin tried to begin, standing up from his chair. The man had yet to shower—he was still covered in blood, and he looked like he could barely be classified as alive.

“What did they have?”

“What?” Erwin asked softly, stepping forward so that he could extend an arm towards Levi. They both knew what was coming next.

The corporal snarled and slapped it away. “We had maneuver gear. What did they have? Sticks? The clothes on their backs? What was the fucking _point_?” Levi screamed, no attempt to keep his voice down. Who would hear them now? Petra? Hanji? None of them would interrupt what was inevitably going to happen, nor did they even know about it. 

“There were too many people. You knew that, Levi,” Erwin said softly.

The corporal turned his head. “Fucking useless.” He moved towards Erwin, and took off his own belt so that he could thrust it into the commander’s hands. 

Erwin stared at it for a moment before moving his arm to the side and striking Levi hard in the ribs. The soldier cried out, but didn’t move.

“What do you want?”

“To die.”

Levi shut his eyes, and opened them again just before Erwin’s calloused knuckles made contact with his stomach. The air fled his lungs, and he automatically inhaled, causing him to dry heave and squeeze his eyes shut again. With the other hand, the commander struck Levi’s spine, and his body collapsed to the ground with a loud thud. His hands had sprawled out in a pathetic attempt to catch himself, but he only heard two snaps followed by a shooting pain through his arms. 

The belt struck his face, his neck, and his arms. He was sure they would leave welts. Who cared? Nobody would say anything to him.

“Punch me in the face.”

Erwin obliged. His hand drew back, and he struck Levi, hard, between his eyes. 

“Again.” 

Erwin repeated the action.

“Just fucking _kill_ me!” Levi screamed. But now, even he had to admit that the pain was becoming unbearable. With every new punch or strike from the belt, Levi found himself crying out, and trying to back away from Erwin, who advanced with every step that Levi took back. 

Sooner or later, he felt his back hit a corner, and Erwin was upon him. But before the commander struck him again, something inside of him responded. He shouted when Erwin tried to get near him, and he shouted curses and the larger man. 

Erwin slapped him in the face.

“Stop,” Levi gasped out. Erwin stared at him. “Make it stop,” he pleaded.

A hand curled around his neck, squeezing the air out of him. Good. He choked, automatically trying to escape, but Erwin held him firm against the wall. 

He felt lightheaded. Sick. Erwin watched, with that same goddamned soft expression, and it was the last thing he saw before everything faded to black.

~~

When Levi’s eyes opened, he couldn’t recognize where he was. First, he was confused, then livid. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t fucking _dead_. Levi shot up in bed, only to hiss and sink back down with a weak cough.

“Don’t move,” a groggy voice murmured. Erwin Smith. 

Levi let the commander pull the covers back over him. “You didn’t kill me.”

“You know I can’t.”

“Of course you can.”

“I will not.”

Levi scowled, and forced himself to roll over so that he didn’t have to look at Erwin. He felt sick, his whole body ached, and he was content. It was a constant reminder—he had to do better next time. He would make sure more of his comrades survived next time.

Sometimes, though, he found himself hoping that there wouldn’t be a next time. More often than not, as his blades sliced apart neck after fucking titan neck, he wondered it would be like to be devoured. To have his bones crushed like toothpicks between teeth that were bigger than he was.

He shuddered at the thought. It was sick. He knew he was demented. His bangs were plastered to his head, and he gingerly lifted his arm to brush them out of the way. He had to have broken out in a sweat while he was asleep.

“This is getting out of hand.”

“I’ll do better next time.”

Erwin couldn’t tell if he was talking about his situation, or the expedition. 

By the time Levi had gotten out of bed and prepared for their meeting with the other elite scouts, it was like the whole thing had never happened.

~~

“What are you, to me?” Erwin asked, his voice husky and warm. He seemed to tower over Levi, and his hands held his wrists above his head like he was a fucking rag doll. Good, maybe Erwin would give him a good whack and break one of his ribs. It didn’t matter when the expeditions were—no matter his medical condition, he would fight.

He would do anything, if it were for Erwin. 

“I don’t know,” Levi whispered back, his eyes half open, and dull. He felt nothing. “What am I?”

“You’re humanity’s hope. You’re _my_ hope.”

Levi shook his head. “No.” He would do anything for Erwin. He would fight for Erwin, kill for Erwin, die for Erwin. “I’m you’re scapegoat.”

He knew that the words hit the commander hard: they were intended to. In the next moment, Erwin’s lips worked hungrily against his. This was how it was supposed to be.

Erwin wanted to dominate him, and Levi wanted to be broken down. He pretended to struggle, knowing what sort of response it would illicit. He was tossed across the room, his legs stumbling clumsily until they stopped moving and he crashed into the wall, and fell next to the bed. His back ached, and he made no attempt to move. This was the way it was supposed to be.

Their bodies moved frantically. They didn’t have time for tenderness, for love. The two soldiers fucked clumsily, with Erwin practically crushing Levi against the mattress as he did so. The corporal’s body tried to scream, but the noises were muffled by a strong hand over his mouth. His body twitted desperately, and when Erwin came inside of him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he lost control of himself and allowed his body to be swept up by an overwhelming orgasm.

~~

Forgiveness was something that was sometimes deserved, and other times achieved. Levi had accepted a long time ago that he would never deserve nor achieve it while in the Survey Corps. The best he would get was a mouthful of spit on his shit excuse for a grave when a titan inevitably snapped his head off.

Levi rolled his tongue over his cracked lips. They had just returned from another expedition. Forty percent loss this time. Five percent larger than last time. They had been unprepared. He knew. He told Erwin, and they pursued the plan regardless. 

He watched as the men who had followed him unreservedly were annihilated, and could only do his best to keep killing, to keep fighting, and to try and reduce the casualties. It was a lost cause. What could he do when the sudden budget cut had left them with insufficient supplies? 

Still, when he entered Erwin’s room and locked the door, the commander didn’t protest. Nor was he happy. He simply acted, and played along with Levi’s game.

His fists bruised Levi’s legs, his arms, his torso…Everywhere that could be touched, Erwin beat.

~~

Wall Maria had fallen five years ago. Now, they were going to take it back. Take back Wall fucking Maria. Levi said the words out loud. They were bitter on his tongue.

“I can’t do it.” He looked outside and focused on the setting sun. 

Erwin said nothing. He let Levi falter—better in here than on the battle field. He pulled his arm back, and clocked Levi in the jaw. He crumpled to the ground, and grasped at the stinging flesh. 

“I don’t want to be Humanity’s Strongest.” And how could he be? He was sure right now, as he coughed and got blood all over himself, that he looked disgusting. What human would want a disgusting, short, demented soldier as their hero? His fingers curled and scraped across his flesh hard enough to draw blood. The motion stung, and he dug deeper. This is what he wanted.

And, for some reason, Erwin still hesitated. The look on his face was always soft during these types of things. he knew what was right, and he also knew what Levi wanted. Erwin inhaled sharply, and kicked him in the stomach. Another mouthful of blood splattered all over the ground. How many times had he seen that before, and in how many different contexts. Levi yelped, and he could tell by the look on Erwin’s face that guilt was weighing him down.

Levi knew that Erwin hated this with every fiber of his being. His whole figure stood contradictory to what he was doing. His jaw tightened, and the commander of the Survey Corps turned his head to the side. The corporal knew that he as more selfish than Erwin could ever be. So, with that thought in mind, he glared at the commander and snarled. “What the fuck are you waiting for?” He choked out. His words stumbled over the blood that was threatening to come up, and he sounded hoarse. His breathing was uneven. It wasn’t enough. He wanted—no, he _needed—_ Erwin to strike him again.

And Erwin obliged, he seized Levi by the back of the neck and threw him against the wall. The corporal gasped, but before his body could react, Erwin grabbed him again and slammed him hard against the doorframe. Too hard. 

Levi’s eyelids fluttered, and immediately, his body went limp, crashing to the ground with a careless thud. “Levi?” Erwin questioned softly, brushing his hand against the corporal’s cheek. No response. 

“Levi?” Again, nothing.

Now it was Erwin’s turn to feel sick. His stomach knotted, and he looked at Levi’s unconscious figure. He had done this. But Levi had wanted him to.

Erwin’s body forced itself to exhale. Candlelight glowed against Levi’s blood caked face, showing that even in a state of unconsciousness, he was bitter. The commander fetched a wet cloth and gingerly wiped Levi’s face and neck clean. He moved in careful, circular motions so that he would not agitate the skin any more than necessary, and when he was finished, he rinsed out the one he had and brought back another to pat his face dry.

Levi’s body couldn’t handle this. It didn’t matter—the corporal forced it to. He could _not_ falter on the battlefield, so Erwin allowed him to in private. 

Levi was hoisted onto the  bed, and Erwin crawled in beside him. The corporal’s body radiated with heat, so the larger man pulled him close, and rested his chin on the top of Levi’s head. 

Levi had always been broken, but now he was coming apart at the seams. Erwin’s hands wandered, running over the smaller man’s cracked lips, which were now beginning to turn an unsightly purple, and then his bruised ribs.

Whether minutes had passed, or hours, Levi’s eyes slowly opened and he looked at Erwin. He hissed, and winced slightly.

“Your head?” The thought of Levi’s head cracking against the doorframe played over and over in the commander’s head, and guilt immediately overwhelmed him. _He_ had done this. _He_ was responsible.

“It’s fine.”

“Our next expedition will be in one month.” It was a warning—this had to stop until then.

Levi’s body went rigid. He understood. “Very well.”

“You don’t want to go.” It wasn’t a question any longer. Erwin’s eyes lingered on his, and his breath tickled his skin.

Levi felt sick. “No.”

“The troops need you.” Of course they did. The inhabitants of the wall fed their soldiers all kinds of bullshit about Levi and the Survey Corps. Still, he didn’t budge. 

“No.” His face was dark, eyes  narrowed and mouth pulled into a taut line.

Erwin watched him. Waited. He slid a finger down the corporal’s spine, and made him wince. “ _I_ need you.”

Levi stayed silent for a long time. “Then I will go.”

For Erwin, Levi would do anything.

Erwin kissed him gingerly, and pulled him close. For the first time, Levi slipped an arm around him and scraped gently on his back. Erwin breathed on him, and gently groped at his figure. “What do you want, in this war?”

Levi frowned. “You.” The answer was obvious, wasn’t it?

He didn’t think to ask Levi about his condition, and flipped the smaller man onto his back. Deft fingers shot towards his cravat, removing it before Levi could voice any sort of protest. 

Levi, with shaky hands, unbuttoned the commander’s shirt, revealing his toned, candlelit torso and harness bruises. The corporal’s body was an entirely different story. When Erwin got his shirt off, his torso was absolutely _covered_ in marks, old and new. Some from the underground, others from expeditions, and most from Commander Erwin Smith.

Erwin’s hands ghosted up and down Levi’s torso, lingering longer than necessary on his ribs. Each movement filled Levi with want. No, _need_. Erwin kissed his face, then the soft flesh of his neck. Two hands pulled at his belt, and removed the rest of his clothing. He watched as they crumpled to the ground, and automatically, he moved to fix that.

His wrist was seized and pinned unceremoniously to the bed. Erwin said nothing, and his eyes locked with Levi’s, dragging his attention back to where it should have been.

The grip on his wrist went slack. Humanity’s Strongest, Humanity’s Hope. He pushed himself up with his bruised elbows,and tugged at Erwin’s pants until he was just as exposed as Levi. He moved forward and took Erwin’s throbbing cock into his mouth, pushing it as far down as he could until he gagged.

Humanity’s Strongest. Erwin Smith, the man that dragged his men into hell and back. He blew on the damp flesh, licking up and down from the tip of Erwin’s erection to its base. He was no hero—he was an abomination. He took Erwin into his mouth once more, cock brushing against the back of his throat. The commander grunted, and came. Levi swallowed, and pulled back.

Erwin pinned him down, and grabbed his erection. He pumped slowly, and Levi’s back arched. He moaned, and let his eyes roll back. Erwin kissed him, and moved down to his cock. He took it into his mouth, and Levi cried out. His fingers curled into Erwin’s hair, and he choked on moans as the commander worked at him.

He groaned. “I’m not your hero,” he choked out, digging his nails into Erwin’s scalp. He didn’t know where the words were coming from. It was always like this, when they made love, if they could call it that. Erwin deep throated him, and Levi moaned when pleasure shot through his body as he came.

Erwin kissed him, and he tasted salt. He grimaced. Fingers curled around the smaller man’s neck, choking the air out of him as their lips worked against one another’s. His body ached with need. He wanted more.

Erwin pressed two fingers to Levi’s lips, and he took them into his mouth, swirling his tongue around each of the digits. “Hero? Heroes are useless,” the commander murmured. “Corporal, you are my pawn.”

The two fingers pushed into the smaller man, and he yelped. It hurt. He needed more. “Levi,” he choked out.

Erwin rose a brow, caught by surprise. “Hm?”

“When you have me like this, you will not call me by that title.” Levi shifted, and Erwin pushed his fingers in deeply. “I am not one of your soldiers. I am not your pawn.”

“Levi, then,” Erwin murmured.

The commander pulled his fingers out, and placed him at the smaller man’s entrance. Levi’s body quivered as Erwin pushed in, and a strangled, defeated noise clawed out of Levi’s throat. His eyes wrenched shut, and his body tried to move back, but Erwin pushed in until he was balls deep within him.

“Erwin…Erwin…” Levi gasped out. 

The only one Levi trusted. Erwin’s right hand man. Here they were, tangled within the sheets, sweaty, confused, desperate. Erwin waited for a moment, and began to pound into him. It was silently agreed that they would not fuck tenderly. Their kisses were sloppy and rough, movements harsh and clumsy. 

“Scream for me,” Erwin ordered.”

And he did. Levi cried out, tears pricking at his eyes as Erwin slammed into his prostate. His vision blurred, and his body shook. Everything tingled, and he needed more. He felt filled by Erwin, taken hold of by him. Erwin’s hands wrapped around him, crushing their bodies together.

Levi bit down on his lip, forced to scream when Erwin hit his prostate and paused to roll his hips.

“Come for me, Levi.”

“No. It’s—“

“Come for me,” Erwin demanded, rolling his hips as he hit that same spot once again. The corporal screamed, and an orgasm swept over his body. His back arched, slamming his chest hard against Erwin’s, and his hands clawed at the commander’s body. He felt tired, full, satisfied.

Erwin rode out his orgasm, coming deep inside Levi and holding himself in place before pulling out. He took the damp rag from the bedside table and wiped then semen from their bodies. Once Levi was cleaned, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Stay,” Erwin demanded, hand clamping down on one of Levi’s shoulders. The bruise on his back had became more noticeable, now covering almost an entire shoulder blade, as well as a large portion of his spine.

“I don’t want to.”

“It wasn’t a suggestion.”

Levi’s body stiffened for a moment, and gradually relaxed. He did not question Erwin—he didn’t want to understand. “Lie down.”

The smaller man did as he was told, and pulled the sheets over his body until he was covered up to his chin. He should have been warm, but a cold sweat plagued his body, breaking his skin out in gooseflesh.

Levi stared hard at the ceiling. Erwin watched. He knew what the corporal was doing. He was running the next expedition through his head. He was thinking about every one before. and how many men he had lost. The empty look crossed his eyes, and he rolled over so that he faced Erwin. Damp bangs fell into his eyes, and he made no attempt to move them. Eventually, it was Erwin who brushed them out of the way.

“What will I do during the expedition?” Levi inquired. The commander was stiff. Unreadable.

“Live.”

“Is that all?”

Erwin sat back on the bed, and Levi watched as the flickering candle lit up the curves and shapes of his hard body. “Fight, and live.” He moved, and the light danced over his muscles. 

“I will.” Levi paused. “Lie with me.”

Erwin obliged, and propped his head up with his elbow. Levi rolled onto his back, and the commander froze. A tear slid from Levi’s eye, but his expression never changed. He pursed his lips

Who would die this time? They had new recruits. Or, they were supposed to. How would they fare? Another tear fell, but he felt nothing. 

“Are you alright?” Erwin asked softly.

“Perfect,” he murmured.”I’m tired.”

“Then sleep.”

~~

Levi didn’t bother to count the losses this time. They made the wrong choice, and his entire squad had been decimated. Yaegar would be brought to the capital. They had a plan, but it didn’t make the current situation any more bearable.

For the first time, he was angry at Erwin. Absolutely fucking furious.

He stormed, as per usual, into Erwin’s office. This time, though, he held himself differently. He stood tall, refusing to crouch back. Erwin’s hand fell from his belt, and he waited. Levi’s feet dragged him across the room, and he scowled. Rage shot through him, and he drew his fist back. 

When Erwin saw what was coming, it was too late. Levi struck him in the throat, and he stumbled back, catching himself on the windowsill.

“Petra.” He struck Erwin’s cheek. “Auruo.” The stomach. “Eld.” His chest. “Gunther.” His ribs. “I fucking _hesitated_ ,” Levi growled. “I fucking waited. I trusted your judgement, that’s what I fucking did.” He pulled back for another swing, only to have Erwin catch him by the wrist and twist it so that he could be flipped over and pinned to the ground. They both breathed heavily, staring hard at each other. Levi bucked his hips, and snarled like a caged animal. 

He spat in Erwin’s face. The commander backhanded him. “They were my pawns,” he reminded him, striking him once again in the face. 

When the fight left Levi, Erwin stood and made his way back to the desk.

Levi’s face stung. He felt humiliated, and he put his hand over his now reddening flesh. Sick. He had forgotten his role. Everyone’s role. He watched Erwin shuffle through papers, and guilt twisted at his gut. Levi stood up, wincing at the pain in his leg. He knew he should have been using a crutch.

He stood in front of the desk. “I’ll write the letters.”

“Hmm?” Erwin glanced up when he heard Levi’s speech pattern change.

The corporal clenched and unclenched his fists. “To the families. The consolation letters.” He looked at the ground, and Erwin had a feeling that he knew what was coming next. Levi held his hand out for the papers, but the commander grabbed it instead. 

When Levi’s head shot up, Erwin could have sworn he had witnessed something more terrifying than any titan he had ever seen. Levi’s eyes were narrowed, and his mouth had been twisted into a snarl worse than when he had first been dragged into the Survey Corps. What really caught Erwin off guard was the tears that had begun to downright pour over Levi’s eyes and down his cheeks. 

He withdrew his hand, and replaced it with the lists he would need. Levi turned on his heel.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out before Erwin could stop them. That was the wrong thing to say—it wasn’t what Levi had wanted to hear.

Sure enough, Levi froze in place. “I’ll be stronger next time.”

The door shut softly behind him.


End file.
